November 30, 2017

Teras 3.0…ONLINE. All systems: Nominal. Let me first start off by saying that #Dasani water tastes like the salty butt water salvaged from Cthulhu’s ass. I find the ocean terrifying.  Mostly because of Jaws.  However, I share a sentiment with Lovecraft — the fear of the ocean, not the racism.  I have seen the stuff… Read more

Teras 2.o incoming. I think I have some sort of obsession with “chicken legs”.  They just make something look REALLY mechanical.  I think this stems from playing Mechwarrior and loving the iconic design of the Mad Cat/Timber Wolf. Spider legs are also pretty dope. Extremities are weak and brittle.  They must be replaced with killer… Read more

This is Cassandra “Teras” Hauser. I stole this character.  Though stole is a strong word for it.  More like…appropriated off the corpse of a dead man?  Not really.  Kinda. There was a friend.  A really good friend.  We met once in life and that was it.  However, we literally talked every day through email or chat…or… Read more

Back from the holidays. I doodled something easy.  I actually tried to sketch four different things but nothing was working (bear in a tutu with a broad sword for one…).  Maybe I will try that one again tomorrow. What is best in life? To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to… Read more

This is a cute narwhal cosplaying as Mario. Notice the mustache.  Totes some awesome cosplay, right? Wait…why are you looking at me weird? …WHAT’S A NARWHAL?!  Are you seriously asking me this?  Do you not actually know about the unicorn of the sea?! “The narwhal (Monodon monoceros), or narwhale, is a medium-sized toothed whale that… Read more

“Welcome to zee restaurant, wee arhr lookin’ forward to serving, yuu!” “Zee smell frum meh bodiee?  Ahh!  That enhances zee flavhors!  Please sit in dez bucket o’marinade!  Zee marinade enhanzes zee flavhor!” “Do not mind the spices droppingz on youz…enhanzes zee flavhors!  Oh…zee pepper makes’a youz sneeze…so-k; zee heat will killz zee germs…”

There you are, sitting on the bus to the next Inter-dimensional portal out of the Far Realms. The only available seat is next to that guy.  The weird facial hair you are sure is pasted on.  The naked flesh leaving a gloss on the seat.  You’re pretty sure they like Star Wars just a bit… Read more

You are drag…er…cat…er…dragoncatborn! “Long has the Storm Crown Languished with no worthy brow to sit upon. By our breath we bestow it now to you in the name of Kyne, in the name of Shor, and in the name of Atmora of old. You are Ysmir now, the Dragon of the North. Hearken to it.”… Read more

Meet, Gribblrayhtx Hibbledrourplwangger. Mr. Hibbledrourplwangger is a Four Horgnart Elextryx in charge of the ninety-eighth Juapperflooge.  Hailing from the planet Kurtazanseliumquartmintes, his entire life has been geared towards war and oppression of other species.  He currently owns over 100,000 slaves, and is heavy into sentient trafficking.  Graduating at the top of his military class — by murdering… Read more

“To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.” These are the wise words of the Unioink; the last of his kind and the most wisest in the world. Other such nuggets of enlightenment from the most exalted mind are: “When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.”… Read more